Page 86 - Vimarsha Volume 2

3.6 Perfectionism

In some kind of over parenting situation, parents always demand everything need to

be perfect of the children. Otherwise it can be causes to the punishment or minimizing
of affection. Some parents make high level of target or goals on their children without

any considering on children’s will. So, these children internalize they have to be
perfect to remain the affectionate of parents on them. Perfectionism control their lives
and as a result of this experience when they become adults, they also start to seek the

perfectness. After these adults build relationships with outsiders, they also expect the
perfectness from others. Then it can become a maladjustment behavior and trouble
for interpersonal relationships because no one can be 100% perfect in the society as

a partner.

4. Conclusion

Parents are the first and foremost agents that influence to adjust and build the children
personality. Parenting is the process that parents use to make healthy development

for their children since birth until the adulthood. There are different parenting styles
that divided base on responsiveness and demandingness of parents to children’s needs
as Authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved. These styles of parenting

influence to the children personality in different ways. Specially, here we have
considered about the over parenting. Over parenting means parent’s over influence

on their children’s life in a way that challenge their age appropriate autonomous. Over
parenting can directly impact to the child personality by its negative consequences.
As above discussed, psychological distress or anxiety, lack of self-esteem and self-

confidence, low physical wellbeing, approval seeking behavior, risk taking behavior
and perfectionism are the main consequences of over parenting. These conditions
have high level of capability to change the one’s own personality to negative side

because his thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, expectations and relationships depend on
that. Although parents concentrate on over parenting for make their child’s life better
it causes to build week and negative personality to the child.

71